Good days, bad days...

All I ever wanted was to be a good mum to Naima. All through my pregnancy I worried about eating all the right things, taking the right vits, going to all my appointments, reading to the baby, getting all her bits ready. For some reason I never worried about the birth, I told myself if my mum could do it then so could I. And as for motherhood – I assumed it would just come naturally to me. And it did to a certain extent but nothing prepares you for how hard it really is, for the ups and downs and the all over the place moments. Every other mother told me, "Yes it's hard but you will get through." That's not the whole truth though is it mammas? It's like we're all following the unwritten 11th commandment, "Thou shalt not tell another new mum what it's really all about." There's days I feel rubbish at everything, short-tempered, fat, lazy and slightly alcohol-dependant. The laundry never ends, you're never quite clean thanks to dried baby sick/poo/sweet potato, the exhaustion is bone-deep and teething a nightmare, a God awful nightmare. After Calpol, Calgel, ice cubes and teething toys have been exhausted there's nothing you can do to make your baby feel better and my poor little Naima has really suffered at the hands of her red raw gums. A miserable baby makes a miserable mummy and that's when all the niggling doubts start to eat away at your already over-tired and emotional mind. Am I a good mum? Does my baby hate me? Will it ever get better?

Well it has to - because that's life. With the bad, horrible, lonely days come the glorious sun-kissed, laughter-filled days. And that's what makes it all worthwhile. Here are the top 5 most important things I have learnt since having Nai Nai, the lessons learned that get me from Monday through Sunday:
(1) Everything is temporary. Eventually the crying will stop, those teeth will come in, the weight will drop off, you will get some sleep. Whatever state you are in now it won't last forever. Make sure you leave behind today's issues in today, forget about them the next day. You can't manage them and the new challenges tomorrow will bring.
(2) Cry every day. No matter if you are happy or sad release those tears. It's cathartic and will make you feel a million times better when you've dried your eyes.
(3) Seek advice. Surround yourself with a gang of honeys as fine as mine who are always ready with suggestions and ideas as well as a shoulder to cry on when you just need to talk. Let them be there to boost you up when you need it and it'll make you feel great to be there for them in turn.
(4) Ask for help. Whether it's from your partner, your mum, your BFF, don't be afraid to ask for a helping hand, big or small. You can't do everything yourself so don't try.
(5) Don't feel bad. This is the one piece of advice which is the hardest to take I think. You have to be an inherently bad person to be a bad mother. As long as your bubba is fed, watered, happy and loved then you're doing fine. The laundry will do itself one day, don't sweat the small stuff.

Olympic fever...

The last two and a half weeks in London have been amazing thanks to the Olympics. It was almost like we had the world over as house guests and everyone behaved impeccably. Even the weather played ball. Parks were occupied by big screens and beer trucks, Puma decided to dedicate a whole yard to sport and jerk chicken and even I decided to step up my fitness thanks to being inspired by those beach volleyball players' bodies. Everything that we thought would go wrong didn't and London seemed alive again. It was like we temporarily shrugged off the shackles of every day life, forgot the griping and just let ourselves enjoy the city we lived in for a change. Even Nai Nai got in on the act with some fabulous outfits for her Olympic-watching park action...

I was lucky enough to take in some tai kwan doe at the Excel with Nai Nai and hubby and it was truly an amazing experience. It's great to be able to tell Nai Nai when she's older that we went to London 2012, like she already a little part of history. So now it's all over what do we do? We await the Paralympics of course! Bring on the Superhumans....

Ernesto Neto @ Nike 1948...

This week Nai Nai and I were lucky enough to have a workshop with amazing Brazilian artist Ernesto Neto thanks to Mothers Meeting and the Nike Flyknit Collective. We learned about Flyknit, we did yoga using sculptures, babies played with installations and we counted Nike fuel points. It was a pretty inspirational morning, not only hearing Neto's motivation for his sculptures but connecting with and meeting like-minded mums and doing some powerful yoga. And of course Nai Nai had a great time too...

One of the best things about mummy-hood is the inspiration you get from your baby and your new life to do things that you never thought you would or could. Did I ever see myself working out with a whole bunch of mums every Thursday? No. Did I ever see myself workshopping with legendary Brazilian artists? Absolutely not. But when you allow yourself to, for want of a better phrase, think outside of the box, you find yourself open to all these new experiences and that's amazing for mind, body and soul. Motherhood truly give you the fuel to do things you never thought you could, the impossible suddenly becomes possible and that is the greatest gift your baby gives you. Thank you Nai Nai, I owe it all to you!

Ain't no mama like my mama...

The past few weeks have been busy but relaxed as my mum came all the way from Glasgow to spend some time with us. It was the longest my mum had stayed since Naima was born and the last time she was here it was kind of fraught thanks to two weeks late baby, emergency cesarean etc etc etc. I have to admit I was a bitch to my mum then (I blame the stress and hormones) and when she left after 6 weeks I felt horrible that I had been so moody when she had been so wonderful. This time things were different. I feel like I have fallen in love with my mummy all over again. Even though she's not in the best of health, she cooked and cleaned like a demon all week, took Naima at any given moment and seeing the two of them together was so amazing. I would catch myself looking at the two of them together and think, "I never realised how much my mum loved me til I was a mum." All her life my mum has been selfless, thinking of family first, whether that be my brother, my dad and me, or her extended family back in Ghana and we have all benefited from her gorgeous spirit. She's stylish, she's funny, she's warm and she's strong - all the things I want to be. I dread a time in my life when I am without her. So I would just like to say to my mummy, if she every reads this (which she won't as she doesnt really get this new fangled world wide web thingy) I love you more than I can ever say. Come back please...

So much to do, so little time to blog...

I've been the worst kind of blogger recently - a busy one! I've been everywhere and been doing so many things I should write about but I just haven't had the time! I guess that's life....So here's an abridged version of the past few weeks....The heatwave kicked off with chilling with my new found mummy pal CO at the Shoreditch Festival. Again another example of why I love my borough, the Shoreditch Festival was a gorgeous celebration of everything that is good and cool about Hackney taking place all along the canal with bars, food stalls and musicians galore. Amazeballs. The next night saw me and the BFF, AA have an impromptu night out at the Plan B album launch party. Now I've never been the biggest Plan B fan, but the thought of a free night out to hear some live music appealed to me. I cannot lie - Plan B more than delivered. He was passionate, he was was wild, he sung, he rapped, he got the crowd going.

My grainy pics don't really do it justice but he brought Kano and Labirnth on stage in a multi-storey car park under the arches of London Bridge and it was a truly fantastic venue for the Ill Manors launch. I'm not surprised the album went to number 1, Plan B is truly a modern day poet, brave enough to say what everyone else is afraid to against the backdrop of clever beats and slick harmonies. Buy it now!

The rest of the week went by in a haze of sunshine and picnics in the park with Nai and AA, rooftop swimming at Shoreditch House, working out at the Nike 1948 studios and supping wine by the canal at  Waterline....Bring back the sun please....